The anger...

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. That was harder for me to admit then it was to say.

Lastnight I admitted to myself that our relationship was definately over....had been since march. No more friends. no more listening to your convincing lies, wondering who you were actually with. No one spends THAT much time with their Moms!. Stupid me, so stupidly infatuated with someone who can't be themselves. Your reason for the break up was that you have fibromyalgia and it hurts too much to be touched, that you didnt want to hold me down....in retrospect your an ass and im gullible: an ass that you kept dangling a carrot in front of.

Your parting shot was that you tried to be what I wanted. How asinine! all i ever wanted was to be able to trust...what you said, what I saw In you (what you presented yourself to be), you with my heart.

Ya ya ya, I know I went manic a few times with all the doubt I kept inside. Ya ya ya I know that caused you stress. But no ones perfect & I recovered fast enough.

My Dad once told me that ...
"people are like lighthouses,
some shine their light to warn others of danger.
some use their light to show the way to a save haven.
and others show their light as if to guide to safety but at the last minute...when its too late, they shine on the rocks, the danger".

People like you leave a wake of pain, sadness and scars but I refuse to pitty you. I refuse to pitty me. I refuse to stay in this pit of sadness that you have tried to imprison me. You stay there, I dont like the company.

This post is an epitaph of my time with you. I will not read it again. Let it stand as written, errors included, they make their own silent statement. I will take the lessons I have again learned and carry on....